If you’ve been reading my slices lately, then you know I’m pretty immobile at the moment, confined to my bed to elevate my ankle and rest my sore body. Well, this makes everyday tasks a lot trickier than normal.
Last night, I ordered in for dinner, and while I was receiving the food with the door open, a mosquito flew in. I noticed him flying around me, taunting me, just out of my reach. I was not looking forward to going to sleep, fearful of his annoying, itchy bites.
Sure enough, I wasn’t able to catch him before my eyes could no longer stay awake. Laying down, I had hoped he wouldn’t fly anywhere near me.
Sometime around midnight, I was awoken by a bite on my cheek. Grrrr! I knew he would get me! Pulling the covers up over my face (man, I hate that, too!), I fell back asleep, satisfied that with my body covered up, he would not have access to my skin.
An hour and a half later, I was again woken up as that little bugger bit me twice on my jawline on the opposite side. Disgruntled and frustrated at my unwelcome wake-up call, I hatched a plan. I would turn on the light in the living room to draw him out, then quickly get back to my bed and close the sliding door, thus protecting myself from his evil ways.
Hobbling over to the living room on my crutches, half asleep, I turned on the light and I waited. And waited. And waited. He didn’t come. I thought insects were instinctually drawn to light. Not this one.
Irritated and tired from standing on one leg, I turned out the light and hobbled back to my bedroom. Turning on the light, I figured I’d try to kill him, that is if I could catch him. Even when all of my limbs are working properly, I find it difficult to catch mosquitos, but I had to give it a try. I refused to lay in bed being bitten all night.
Ah-ha! I saw him, on the wall near the curtains. Using my crutch as a sword, I smashed him, proud that I’d killed him so quickly. After removing the crutch to see him fall to the ground, a smashed mess, I saw him fly up higher. Dammit! The bottom of the crutch is concave!
Determined still to get him, I notice he’d landed on the air con, and I again used my crutch as an extension of my arm to try and smash him. He prevailed again. How is it that I am like 10 million times bigger than him, but he’s winning?
I decided to give patience a try. Kneeling on my bed, I waited until he came to me. Clap! Clap! Clap! He evaded my assassination attempts once again. He came back for more. Clap! Clap! Got him! Falling to the floor, twitching, I knew I’d wounded him, but he was still alive. Using my crutch yet again, I smashed him into the floor several times until I knew for certain he was dead. Victory was mine! Now I could sleep in peace.