TBAs

If you’ve been reading my slices for the past month, you know I’ve experienced a roller coaster of emotions, however most of them have been in the uncertain, worried, and fearful categories. Many of you have been there, too. Our lives have been upended in a matter of weeks, and we are grappling to make sense of our new normal.

In some ways, I felt like I needed to feel this way about it. That little voice in my head telling me that this is not okay and I shouldn’t be dealing with this. Today, however, I woke up feeling at peace. Despite the chaos going on in the world, I am safe and healthy, and frankly, all the worry and despair won’t make the virus stop anyway, so why keep dwelling on it?

So today, I felt compelled to express my TBAs (Truths, Beauties, and Appreciations). I always find this slice format to be a grounding experience that brings me back to reality.

Truths

1. I have let fear control me over the last 3 weeks, but I’m releasing that fear today.
2. I am healthy and safe in isolation. I have food and supplies, and I’m not in any danger.
3. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know the what ifs only make me more anxious about what’s to come once my visa runs out in June.
4. I’m learning to be kinder to myself, forgiving the times when I know I should do more of this or less of that. These are extraordinary times and no one has a rule book on what any of us should do. We have to find our own path.
5. While I’m not able to travel right now, I know that once everything is safe and back to normal, I’ll be back out there, exploring the world again.

Beauties

1. The green and sunshine out my window reminds me that the natural world is beautiful.
2. The smiles on the faces of my friends and family when we connect on FaceTime.
3. The seven days off that lay ahead, full of promise and opportunities for self-care, reading, writing, planning, sleeping, puzzles, and TV shows, are such a welcome relief.
4. My house plants that bring a splash of color, a reminder that we are all growing, and a smile to my face.
5. Being still today has allowed me to truly listen to the sounds outside…the leaves rustling with the light breeze, the birds chirping, the occasional motorbike riding by, the call to prayer, the ducks quacking, kids calling to one another.

Appreciations

1. Quiet mornings like this, where I can wake when I want, sip tea and read slices in my PJs, cuddled up on the couch under a blanket.
2. Rohana, my live-in maid, who has looked after me during this tumultuous time, ensuring that I have fresh food to eat, clean clothes, and a disinfected home. She’s been such a constant for me and has kept me company as I remain in self-isolation.
3. Technology that allows me to connect with my loved ones and work remotely.
4. The support from all of you in the SOL community this month has meant more to me than you’ll ever know. I’m able to pour my emotions out in writing so much more than when speaking to others. I’ve felt seen and heard this month, and your comments have fueled my soul.
5. After being cooped up inside, I appreciate that I can come up to my rooftop oasis to read and relax. The blue skies and plants make me smile so much!