Tag Archives: sol#20

Modern Loneliness

Have you heard Lauv’s new song, “Modern Loneliness” yet? If not, give it a listen while you read my slice. This live version is my favorite.

Ever since I first heard this song the other day, it’s been on constant repeat. It’s a beautiful song and sounds good to my ear, but the lyrics have been speaking to me, too. The whole idea that we are never alone, we’re either together or connected in some way, yet we’re still sad, depressed, or lonely.

This whole self-quarantine thing has me reflecting on this very idea. I’ve just finished Day 8 of being isolated, restricted to my house and unable to have visitors over, but I’ve been more connected than ever before. From 7:00am until 9:00 or 10:00pm, my phone vibrates and my computer dings, alerting me that someone else needs me or wants to talk to me. Throughout the day I’m on video conferences, taking telephone calls, instant messaging, emailing, or texting. The constant noise and virtual connection does little to ease the sense of loneliness. That’s the message Lauv’s trying to get across in his song. It is modern loneliness.

If I’m honest though, I’ve felt this way for a while now. The lyrics, “[I] Love my friends to death, But I never call and I never text, yeah” ring true for me. I don’t know why I’ve been doing this lately, but it’s like I’ve stuck my head in the sand. Maybe it’s because I’m working on me and trying to figure things out in my own life. Maybe it’s because it’s draining to send messages and emails when I spend so much time on devices for work. Or maybe there’s another reason I haven’t figured out yet. Whatever the reason, I hope that my friends know how much I love them and that even though I don’t always reach out to them, I still care deeply. Maybe I have a case of modern loneliness.

What I’m Going to Miss About Living in Indonesia

When I moved to Indonesia in July 2017, I didn’t really know what to expect. I’d only been once before, and that was just for a few days when I was interviewing for the job earlier that year. While I wouldn’t say that I fell in love with living here, after 3 years, I will miss a few things when I move on in June of this year.

My House

Since moving abroad 10 years ago, I’ve solely lived in apartments until moving to Jakarta. Because I was so used to apartment living, I looked for one here, but ended up falling in love with my house, despite the fact that it’s entirely too large for me. What I love most about it is all the windows and the greenery outside. Most people who visit can’t believe this oasis is in Jakarta, a metropolis with a population of over 10 million. Another thing I love about it is that I’ve made it my own. Everywhere else I’ve lived has been fully furnished, which left me with limited options when decorating, and while I had to spend a lot more initially, I was able to pick out the furniture that matched my personal tastes. I just feel at home here.

My School

I’ve really grown attached to the students, families, and colleagues at my school, and I’m definitely going to miss them when I’m gone. I know all of the kids’ names in Primary school, and they are some of the nicest kids I’ve ever met. Becoming a teacher again a few months ago has allowed me to develop relationships with the Year 6 students and our class bond is very strong. I’m going to miss seeing them transition into Secondary school next year. I’ve also developed a few close friendships with colleagues that I’ll miss, but I’m not worried since we will definitely keep in touch!

My Live-in Pembantu (Maid)

As much as I am embarrassed to say it, I have a live-in maid. It’s pretty common to have a maid when you live in Asia, but it’s more common in Indonesia to have a live-in maid. At first, I was really put off my the idea, but once you get used to it, it is hard to give it up. Rohana is such a sweet lady and we have gotten to know each other over the years. When my friend Linner visited last month, she said Rohana and I had our own little language. I think she’s right. We speak in a mix of English and Bahasa, and most of the time, we know what the other one is saying. 🙂 She cleans, does my laundry, and helps with the cooking. I love that I have my breakfast and lunch ready each morning to take to work so I don’t have to worry about it. I also love cooking when I don’t have to worry about the prep or the clean up. I’m most definitely spoiled and will really miss having her around next year!

Deliveries

This is something that is growing in popularity around the world, but I have to say, being able to order up almost anything and have it delivered is an absolute luxury! There’s the obvious take-out and grocery shopping, but you can also have someone go buy you anything you would ever want (alcohol, movie tickets, random things from any store, etc.) and deliver it to you for a very small fee. In a way I will really miss this, but in a way I won’t, because it makes it way too easy to never have to leave your house!

Go-Jek

Going along with the deliveries is Go-Jek, a ride-sharing service with motorbikes and cars, a delivery service, and a services service, meaning I can Go-Jek a massage, a mani/pedi, a car wash or oil change (if I had a car), a cleaning lady, a hairstylist, or make-up artist to my house. This is so convenient when you live in the city with the worst traffic in the world, but again, it makes you so lazy. The fact that these services are dirt cheap makes it even better. I can Go-Jek to work for 10,000 IDR (about $0.75) or order a massage for an hour for 80,000 IDR (about $6.50). It’s heaven!

Bali

Being so close to Bali is a real treat! Who else can say they weekend in Bali?!? The fact that Bali is a quick plane ride away (about 1.5 hrs) and is so cheap (about $100 round-trip) makes it easy to get away. Bali is one of my favorite places to visit. It’s so unlike Jakarta. It’s quieter, has less traffic, has delicious, healthy food, is close to the beach, is walkable in many places, and is just so darn cute! I know that even when I move away, I’ll still come back to visit. Sadly, it just won’t be as often.

There are definitely things that I won’t miss about living here, but I’ll save those for another slice!