Tag Archives: funny

What the?!? Oh, Thailand…

You know how you can do something all the time, but not really pay attention? I’ve ridden in my fair share of Thai taxis, especially to and from the hospital this past month, but most of the time I’m riding alone, so I break out my iPad and read my current book, not really paying much attention to my surroundings or the taxi itself. Well, this taxi ride was different.

Linner just came to visit me, and we took a taxi downtown for a staycation in a swanky hotel in the center of Bangkok. On the ride down, we were busy chatting and catching up on life. While I was listening to Linner, something on the window of the taxi caught my eye and I couldn’t help but stare. What I saw was a series of images on the window, only they were backwards since I was seeing them from inside the taxi. My eyes squinted as I tried to make sense of the string of DO NOT DO THIS images. Linner realized my eyes were no longer making eye contact, and she, too, turned to look at these images.

OK, so the no smoking one makes sense. Most taxis don’t allow that. The next one may be confusing for those of you who don’t live in Southeast Asia, but that image of a spiky fruit is actually durian, an ultra-smelly fruit that smells like rotting flesh. So, yeah…no durian completely makes sense. Who would want that in their taxicab? No alcohol…okay. No dogs, fair enough. Wait…what’s the next picture?!? No sex in the taxi?? Really? We go from no smoking, durian, alcohol, and dogs to no sex. Well that escalated quickly! Next, no rifles or long knives (or swords?). I don’t know that we need that sign…probably self-explanatory, but yeah, I agree those are not okay in a taxi. The last one stumped us…no horned animals?? Is that a goat? Who prompted this to have to be made into an image of something not to bring into the taxi? Like, is this an issue? Surely it happened, but how many times? Once? Or is this a recurring issue with the locals? I’m so confused…

After our rousing conversation about the list of what not to do stickers, Linner realized I had a set behind me, which prompted even more inquiries.

I’m all for the protection of women, so I appreciate that you cannot grab a women’s breast or bottom in the taxi, but did we need such graphic images to depict that one? Okay the next one is so confusing. Is it trying to say women can’t fart music? And why is this something strictly prohibited for women? I say if women can’t do it, men shouldn’t be allowed to fart music either. And again…do we really need to see her nipple to get that it’s a woman? And who farts music? I’d like to meet these talented ass people (pun intended)! Alright, so in addition to no rifles…no handguns either. In case you were unsure before, apparently no guns are allowed. No hand grenades either. Wait…what? Who has brought a hand grenade into a taxi before?!? I love the image of the next one. I get it…no stealing, but the image of a burglar with a bag of loot over his shoulder is a bit over the top, don’tcha think? Alright, stop. Just stop it. Really? No women with men on leashes?? Why is this a thing? And is it only women who put men on leashes and bring them into public and go for a ride around the city in a taxi? No men do it to women? I have never once in my life seen anyone put another adult on a leash. Kids, yeah…in IKEA especially…but adults?? Again, why is there a need for this warning? Is this a rampant problem in Thailand? The last one I’m assuming means no bare feet in the taxi, which makes sense. We should keep our shoes on. But…why the heck are the feet positioned that way? That’s totally not the way their feet would be, that is unless two people were in the taxi and one was sitting down with their feet spread out while their friend was standing, with their feet pointed toward the seat.

Oh, Thailand…you amuse and confuse me sometimes…thanks for the laughs!

Mistaken Identity- SOL #27

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At Michelle’s birthday dinner this past weekend, we started talking about horrible, funny, and weird flight experiences we’d had. It was then that I was reminded of a funny story that happened to me once…

Back in December 2010, I was headed home to surprise my family for Christmas. I had just spent my first few months in Shanghai, and was looking forward to a little family lovin’. At the airport check-in counter with my Chinese friend Julie, who accompanied me to the airport, I was a little taken aback by the customer service rep’s question.

“Can you see very good?” she asked.

“Ummm…well, I can with my glasses on,” I answered her in a curious-sounding voice.

“But you can see?” she queried.

Leaning over, I whispered to Julie, “Why does she need to know this? Is this some weird China thing?” Julie shook her head no.

“I can see OK, but not very well without my glasses. Is this a problem? I’m not driving the plane, so…I’m not sure what the deal is.”

Apparently that answer was sufficient, since she dropped the conversation and continued with normal check-in. Shaking my head as I left the counter, I chocked it up to a random, weird China experience, said goodbye to Julie, and made my way through immigration and security.

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After boarding the aircraft, I was approached by a middle-aged flight attendant. In a VERY loud voice, she shouted, “Ma’am, I brought you a book to read!” while handing me a large white book. Her loud voice was beginning to draw the attention of the other passengers.

“No, thank you, I brought my own,” I said, wondering why she was giving me, and only me, a book.

“Ma’am, it’s a Braille book for you to read!” she shouted.

“Why do I need a Braille book?” I questioned, my face flushing from all this attention I was getting.

“Because you’re blind!” she said matter-of-factly.

“I’m not blind!” I insisted.

“Yes, you are,” she argued.

“No, really, I’m not,” I again insisted, at this point completely flabbergasted as to why this was happening. I was pretty sure I was being punked.

The older Southern gentleman (AKA good ole boy) behind me bellowed, “I see what you’re doing…trying to get something for free by telling them you’re blind, huh?” as he chuckled and shook his head at me. I wanted to crawl under my seat.

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At our stopover in Tokyo, we all had to go through security and then get checked in again so they could issue us a boarding pass for the last leg of our trip. As I was waiting for the people in front of me to get their boarding passes, I leaned over the edge of the counter and happened to see my name written down on a piece of paper. Once it was my turn in line, I asked, “Why is my name written on that paper?”

“Because I have to escort you to the gate,” the attendant said.

“Ummm…why?”

“Because you’re blind.”

“I JUST READ MY NAME ON THAT PIECE OF PAPER! How could I possibly be blind?” I shouted.

“I don’t know, but I will help you to the gate,” he responded.

“No, you won’t. I do not need help.”

“But it says that I have to.”

“I don’t care. I am capable of going by myself.”

After a few more minutes of arguing, he let me go unattended. Seriously, I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something.

Luckily, the rest of the flight was good, and I was no longer accused of being blind, but looking back, that was some crazy trip! I still can’t figure out how I got flagged in the system, but I’m glad it’s never happened again.