There is an ebb and flow to life. I don’t always understand it, but it’s there. Constant, yet ever-changing. There are so many thoughts swimming around in my head today. Today’s post has been written, deleted, rewritten, and has now changed gears. I have so much to say, yet at the same time, so little.
Yesterday one life began, and another one ended. My friend Ashley had her baby boy Ivan. Ashley and Ivan have a new beginning, a fresh start, a lifetime ahead of them. What will they make of it? What will Ivan become? What twists and turns in his life will mold him into the man he’ll grow up to be? It’s exciting to embark upon a new journey, and I am thrilled for this new little life. I can’t wait to hold him when I come home this summer!
Yesterday my aunt’s best friend, who was like her sister, suddenly passed away. When I heard the news this morning, my heart began to ache for Aunt Kathy. I can’t imagine what she must be going through. One day, she’s calling her best friend, chatting about everyday things, looking forward to the next time they’ll hang out, and the next, she’s getting a call that this person who she loves so much, who has been with her through life’s ups and downs, who she’s spent so much time with is suddenly and unexpectedly gone. What do you do with that? Do you believe it? Does it sink in right away, or do you tell yourself it was just a bad dream and hope that when you wake up, life will be the way it was before? I don’t know. While I’ve experienced loss, it’s been expected. They’ve been ill for a long time, it’s been a long progression, they’ve been old. It doesn’t make it any easier, but at least you know that they lived a long life and it was time for them to go.
But what would I do if I heard that my best friend died? What would I feel? Hurt? Sadness? Anger? My heart hurts right now for my Aunt Kathy and for her friend’s husband and daughter. I wish I could wrap my arms around my aunt and let her cry, and let her know that even though we don’t know why and we can’t explain it, it’s going to be OK. I wish I could be there to comfort her, listen to her, sit in silence with her…whatever it is she needs. But I can’t. I’m a million miles away, and I can’t take her pain away. I hope that she can feel the love I’m sending to her right now and know that I’m thinking of her and praying for her. I love you Aunt Kathy, and I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and to your friend’s family.